Giving up....

Ever experience those moments that you just want to give up on life? One day things can be going great, but suddenly, the very next day, everything feels as though its become a disaster and life is falling down on top of you...the pressure is enough to make you fall to your knees.

However, I am realizing that in God's eyes, this is a wonderful place to be.

At first, in these situations, I cry and complain and throw a pity party! But on my knees is a humbling position to be. Through humility I discover God's grace, compassion and love.

I always tell the youth "that when you decide to live your life fully for Jesus Christ...you are in for the fight of your life, but it's worth it!"

There are still days that I have to tell myself that I may be alone but must refuse to be lonely. In almost every area of my life I feel a bit secluded. At work I am the youngest, in the Guardian Angels I am also the youngest, smallest, and one of the only girls that is usually there (in a man's world). At church I am the only youth leader and consistent young adult. And, I, a country raised girl, now live in the city alone. When I examine my life, not much of it makes sense. I don't really fit in any where God has placed me. Some days this is such a precious gift God has given me, and others, it is the heaviest burden I have ever been asked to carry.

I have been home, working in York, for over a year now. It has thus far been an amazing, bumpy, and challenging journey! On the road of pioneering and to self discovery I have experienced heartache, discouragement, loneliness and hopelessness, and many tears, but I have also encountered, supernatural strength, peace like I've never know, joy, purpose, and growth to levels I never imagined! Each step of the way Jesus becomes more real to me! And He is all that matters!

To my fellow pioneers: remember you will never fit in, you WILL make many mistakes and failures on the way to discovering successes. Learn to run to the father, callous your knees, and never cease to pray! Through Christ ALL things are possible! We only have this one chance and one life to live, lets be all in and never give up!



Love you all :)