
There is such a conflict within my soul. I feel the joy and peace from the Spirit of God each day as I step further into the destiny God has prepared for my life, but there is also an aching, caused by isolation and desolation, pierced by the sting of loneliness. I know God has different plans for me, something better that I cannot see. But I sometimes feel like a little girl surrounded by darkness, excited by short glimpses of light from fireflies, reaching out trying to grab one or two to posses, what has awe struck me, within my hands. These fireflies are the short lived glimpses, and the few words I hear, about far off friends and family in preparation for their wedding days and starting a family, and stepping into new realms of reality.
But the fireflies fade out quickly, and all is left to remain is darkness, dense sound, and the cool chill of the night. The good news, however, is that darkness doesn't scare me, the lack of sound doesn't make me nervous, and my curiosity and adrenalin will keep me warm. I wont give up, or give in. I will run as fast as I can in this life. God's word says He will never leave nor forsake me! He is all I need. And I trust that in His timing; as I am running as fast as I can, suddenly there will be someone running alone side of me, and that is how I will know I've found my partner!

For the time being, I am that cheering section in the very back! Yelling and getting so excited for those I love. I may not be able to get close enough for you to hear my words and my heart, but I am there, with a big smile of my face and excitement in my soul for your lives!
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